Emotional Kim Kardashian Talks her Paris Robbery on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

Kim Kardashian says she’s a changed woman after being bound, gagged and robbed at gunpoint in Paris last year.

The reality star gives her first TV interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Thursday about her traumatic experience. Ellen started by saying, “I don’t know that everybody understands how horrific that experience must have been for you.”

“I know this sounds crazy, but I know that was meant to happen to me. I don’t want to start crying, but I feel like that was so meant to happen to me,” Kim says in tears. “I’m such a different person. I, um…I don’t want to start crying anymore. It was meant to happen to me. I really feel like things happen in your life to teach you things. It was probably no secret, and you see it on the show—I was being flashy and I was definitely materialistic before.”

According to CNN, the TV personality was robbed of over $10 million worth of jewelry.

The KUWTK star believes there’s nothing “bad with having things and working hard to get those things, and I’m really proud of everyone around me that’s successful.” But, Kim says, “I’m so happy that my kids get this me and that this is who I’m raising my kids [as]. ‘Cause I just don’t care about that stuff anymore. I really don’t.”

“Like I said, everyone gets so excited when they get things. Or, of course when you get engaged, you’re going to show off your ring. If you get a new car—I don’t care what kind it is—you get so proud and you get so happy and you show that off on social media. But it’s just…it’s not worth it. Like, I don’t care about that stuff,” she reveals. “I don’t care to show off the way that I used to. Even though there’s nothing wrong, truly—it’s OK if you’re proud of that and you work so hard and you get something—it’s just not who I am anymore.”

Ellen then asks Kim about the robbery incident. “It was almost 2:30 in the morning. But what was crazy is meeting with my attorneys and knowing the information that I know now, they had been following me for two years,” Kim shares. “They had been hearing interviews that I did, getting excited about this jewelry or this jewelry, and saying that it’s real.”

“It’s not to say that I’ll never wear jewelry again or anything like that, [but] I truly don’t know if I’d ever feel comfortable. I don’t know if I’d ever wear real jewelry again,” she continues. “Just…my whole life as changed as far as how I travel and security. I never thought that I needed security staying outside my door, even though I had a lot of jewelry. If you think about it, yeah, I should have had a security guard outside my door 24/7 when I’m traveling and I didn’t. Now, I have several, just for me to be able to sleep at night.”

“The door was locked; I didn’t answer the door. They held a gun up to the concierge that was downstairs and said, ‘Let us up. Where’s the rapper’s wife?'” Kim recalls the robbery. “He let them up to the room and he opened the door for them—handcuffed, but opened the door. They’d handcuffed him and tied him up him in the stairwell so he couldn’t [escape].”

“I was just about to fall asleep, but I was awake,” she remembers. “I heard people running up the stairs. I thought it was my sister and my friend coming home drunk and I was calling out to them. I debated going out or not going out all night, and I was like, ‘You know, I’m just going to stay home and pack.’ One of my high school friends, who’s a stylist, was downstairs in a bedroom and they didn’t know that she was there with us. She heard what was going on and she heard me screaming, so she called my sister and my security.”

It was the worst moment in her life.

“Automatically, you’re stomach dropped. It’s a feeling you can’t even explain. Like, I knew that was it for me. I said a prayer, like, ‘I know I’m going to heaven. I hope my kids are OK, and my husband.’ I don’t want to cry; you’re making me cry,” the TV star tells Ellen. “But it does happen really fast. It was a good seven or eight minutes of torture, but when I look back and I analyze it, I’m like, ‘OK, they weren’t aggressive.’ It could have been way worse, so I don’t want to sound like I’m not grateful. I’m out, I’m home, I’m safe, I’m such a better person—it’s OK. Let’s move on.”

Kim also gives her sentiments on Caitlyn Jenner’s memoir, The Secrets of My Life, and how it affected her mother, Kris Jenner. “My heart breaks for my mom, because I feel like she’s been through so much…She’s promoting this book and she’s saying all these things and, you know, I just don’t think it’s necessary,” she shares. “I just feel like it’s unfair; things aren’t truthful.”

Kim says Caitlyn is not being truthful about “certain things” regarding her marriage to Kris. “I mean, I feel like it’s taken her a really long time to be honest with herself,” she claims. “I don’t expect her to be honest about my mom now, but it’s just so hurtful. Like, I just wish her all the success in the world, but not at our expense.”

Kim is still part of Caitlyn’s life, but their relationship has changed. “I haven’t talked to her in a couple of weeks,” she reveals. “I’ll always, always love her. That was my stepdad for so many years. She taught me about character and so much growing up, and I just feel like I don’t respect the character that she’s showing now. But, like I said, I’ll still always have a major love for her, for who she was in my life. I’m really sentimental; I think my mom’s that way. And I’ll never say…you know, it’s still Kendall and Kylie’s dad, so I want to be respectful, but I just feel like there’s no need for a book. You know, tell your story—but just don’t bash other people. I just think, like, it’s not tasteful.”